Barry the Barracuda saw Cameron Diaz almost get eaten by a goliath grouper

Barry the Baracuda

I decided to start a Barry the Barracuda news section. In tribute to my husbands home town in Wales. Honestly folks, I just can’t make up some of the crazy things I read about or see about people in the oceans.

“Barry the Barracuda reporting in here from the deep blue. You will never believe what I saw while I was in Cozumel on my family reunion. Leggy Cameron Diaz was scuba diving with some friends. This monster grouper came up and decided to have a little nibble.”
Our on shore friend, Jay Leno from the Tonight Show, had the interesting interview with Cameron when she got her legs back under her.”

Cameron recalled, “It was probably the size of a Volkswagen Bug (Beetle). And he’s down there and he has these big old lips and somebody said, ‘Oh you should pet him.’
Barry the Barracuda says, “Talking under water??? Come on!”

“I’m rubbing its lip and I’m like, ‘Oh my God, this is amazing!’ I’m looking into its eyes, we’re having this whole moment and all of a sudden it (inhaled) and I go (flying inside)… The only thing that stopped me was literally my neck.

“I’m like inside this fish, and I’m looking at him, he’s looking at me and I’m like, ‘What’s gonna happen here?’ And he… (spit me out) and I go flying backwards. And I have, like, a (oxygen) tank on and everything and I’m, like, rolling backwards in the water. So that was really good times.”

Barry the Barracuda says, “Well, that was a hell of a fish tale…I’m glad everything looks bigger under water. Wink wink.
Why does this woman always have gunk in her hair?
Also, Miss Diaz, what’s a VW BUG… is it like the tasty bugs I eat in season? Is it around the size of the box I came across with Bin Laden’s body in it?(BTW, could you please stop polluting our oceans with terrorists?)

Barry also says, “We all know there are big grouper out there and nobody is saying she didn’t see one, but I have a few questions more Cameron. How long between dives were you? What were you drinking drinking during that time? Does grouper spit work inside your mask as good as other defoggers?”

Barry the Barracuda out

Until next time, Barry the Barracuda says “Just remember terrorists, there is no bag limit and they are always in season. Just leave a few for me”

***The views, opinions and thoughts expressed here by Barry the Barracuda do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or thoughts of Danielle’s Dives or any of it’s affiliates. This post is strictly for entertainment purposes.”

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Cameron Diaz eaten by goliath grouper, posted with vodpod